Life Does Not End With Disability

Life has many avenues and we don’t always know where it will lead us.  You may think that you know what direction your life will go in, but it is not always clear.  Do you remember when you were first told your child had a disability? Did you feel that your life and dreams as you once knew them were over?  That’s exactly how I felt.  Since my son’s diagnosis, my life went on a far different journey than I planned.   But…my life was certainly far from being over. 

What About Your Dream?

 Think about what your dreams are. Life and dreams don’t have to end with a disability.  Since I was young, I always wanted to be a teacher.   I had a Master’s Degree, but, when my son was born, I couldn’t work full time.  So, I took a job as a Tupperware lady, so I could just work at night when my husband was home.  That was not part of my dream, but I needed to work.

Small steps lead to big dreams

Then along came the opportunity to become a teacher’s aide. I could DO this - since the hours coincided with my son being in preschool.  I had to adjust my career goals; I was overqualified for this job, but it was a way to take slow steps forward, and not give up on my bigger dream to become a teacher.

The transformation is in the journey

 Dreams don’t always come in the time-frame you want. I had to transform my mindset; it not my son’s challenges that was affecting my journey. I could wallow in my disappointment and give up. Or, I could look at this in terms of other options and opportunities to move forward from this small step. 

It would take a series of small steps to move forward. Maybe this would not be the destination I had planned, but I would adjust my dream and move forward again-very slowly.  Reinventing myself was essential.  Being a teacher’s aide was a small step, but taking me in the right direction.  

Over time, as my son got older, I reached my dream. I went back to school again, got a doctorate and became a college professor.  Because of my son’s disability, my journey was far different than planned. I needed more time and patience to reinvent my dream around the obstacles presented to me. 

 We all have obstacles, and there is no question they are magnified when you have a child with disabilities. BUT .....life is not over when you have a child with disabilities. Keep your dreams and develop a mindset to keep moving forward despite all the small steps and detours.  As Winston Churchill once said, “Never, never, never give up.”

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