Parents Helping Parents Blog

I read a post this week in a Facebook group that I think many of us can relate to. It was a parent of a child with disabilities who commented that she felt she had totally lost touch with who she was. She asked if other moms felt the same way .The likes and comments started flowing. This feeling is so common. Have you ever felt that your life becomes so focused and consume by your child,  that you begin to forget who you are? The question is how do we get unstuck and start to find ourselves again? 

Give yourself a high five!

Mel Robbins recently wrote a book called, “The...

Being a parent is never easy. Being a parent having a child with special needs is even harder. Trying to juggle life’s demands on your time and energy can leave you feeling drained and struggling to find meaning and purpose in your life. How long has it been since you truly felt your life mattered or felt your heart come alive with aspirations? Instead of waking up to a new day filled with hope and opportunity, are you feeling your life is stuck?

Are you Stuck in Daily Rituals?

There is nothing wrong with having daily rituals, but sometimes these rituals can make you feel that your...

 As a parent of a child with special needs there is no doubt that I shouldered much of the responsibility for just about everything in raising my son. I was constantly taking him to specialists trying to find answers. I become teacher, lawyer, advocate, therapist, etc. and the list goes on. As a result, my life was in constant turmoil as I faced the daily conflict of helping my son at the expense of my own life and dreams. It often left me torn inside and ridden with guilt. I had the dream of getting my doctorate and becoming a college professor but when disability entered my life, I...

Life has many avenues and we don’t always know where it will lead us.  You may think that you know what direction your life will go in, but it is not always clear.  Do you remember when you were first told your child had a disability? Did you feel that your life and dreams as you once knew them were over?  That’s exactly how I felt.  Since my son’s diagnosis, my life went on a far different journey than I planned.   But…my life was certainly far from being over. 

What About Your Dream?

 Think about what your dreams are. Life...

 When you think about self-care and creating time for yourself, what thoughts come to your mind? Will you get to it “tomorrow” or “someday?”  For me, even when I do schedule time for myself, if something comes up, time for me is the first thing that flies off the list. I began to realize I had adopted the mindset that taking care of others was more important than taking care of me!

Changing Old Mindsets

Taking care of ME is more than blocking off time in my schedule. It is changing my mindset from being the last person on my priority list to being the...

I always looked forward to having children AND a career.  Then I had a baby.  I didn’t know how hard this would be.  We came home from the hospital and realized that we were not prepared for this, especially for the first baby.  We can all relate to the shock of having and caring for a baby. Add to that the challenge of special needs and it felt like we were being pushed over the edge.

Time is Not Your Enemy   

How could I be a mother, a wife and a career woman? I always felt like I was racing against the clock: time was my enemy...

Before my son was born, I add plans for a career.  After he was born, my husband pressured me to return to work.  We needed the money and I wanted to be working, but how could I manage the time? 

The Problem with  Balance

One of the areas I have struggled most with is trying to balance being a career woman, wife and mother.  I  grew up having a preconceived idea that if I did not balance my time,  I was not doing my job as a parent. I had been led to believe that balance meant you had to compartmentalize your life and give equal time to each aspect.

...

About a year ago I was in a severe bike accident. I broke my hip on one leg and tore the knee up on the other. All of this required major surgeries to fix. Being a parent of a child with special needs, crises happen all the time, but this was different. This crisis was mine and it caused a very stressful domino effect, not just in my life, but everyone around me. The good thing about crises are they teach us things about ourselves. Below are three things I learned about time, scheduling, and multitasking that have helped me immensely.

Be Careful what you Multitask

I did not have time to do...

Do you feel like your brain never stops? When you are listening to somebody else does your mind race off thinking about what you have to do next? Are you driven to look at your cell phone even at the dinner table with your family? Do you have a hard time just letting your brain relax and be quiet? 

Does your brain need a break?

Like everyone else, I am struggling with turning things off. Work and life commingle.  Employment is no longer a 9-5 job. It is now expected that work goes with you on your cell phone twenty four hours a day. Add to that all the family obligations and...